1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:03,802
Here we go.
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,605
Well, looks like we're
one short on the cupcakes.
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:10,109
That's the chance you take
when you drop in unannounced.
4
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,978
Hey!
5
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,814
ALF, we're one short
because you had yours already.
6
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,049
Oh!
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:20,519
And I dropped in unannounced
8
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,355
because I have some
incredibly exciting news
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,892
I wanna share
with those I love most..
10
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,628
...and those
I can barely tolerate.
11
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,597
Willie, I think she means us.
12
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,334
Whizzer has asked me
to marry him.
13
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,236
Oh! Ho-ho, mom!
14
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,739
That's fantastic! We're gonna
have a Grandpa Whizzer.
15
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,542
(Willie)
Congratulations, Dorothy.
16
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,677
I'm so excited for you.
17
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,213
Ah! Oh, you're excited?
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,649
I am really excited.
19
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,885
You're probably
too excited to eat.
20
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,855
Now you just gotta
have the wedding here.
21
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,425
Oh, Kate, I was hoping
you would say that.
22
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,427
Here? In my house?
23
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,863
Yes, here, in our house.
24
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,732
Now Willie and I were
married in my mother's house
25
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,600
and she is going
to be married here.
26
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,002
It's a tradition.
27
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:12,171
Traditions are like plates.
28
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,139
They're made to be broken.
29
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,110
We are having the wedding here.
30
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,411
When's it gonna be?
31
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,113
We thought sometime next month.
32
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:24,016
What day?
I might not be available.
33
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,085
You won't. You'll be
in the garage that day.
34
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,888
I think you know why.
35
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,624
I know, I know. Tradition.
36
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:37,329
[theme music]
37
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,359
[music continues]
38
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,423
[instrumental music]
39
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:42,828
Yes, I'd like the number
for Sir Tux Formal Wear.
40
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,596
You know, I think it's nice
that grandma's getting
41
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,232
married here instead
of in some big old hall.
42
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,703
Maybe you'd like
to have your wedding here.
43
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,039
Mom, don't even joke
about something like that.
44
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,342
Uh, yes, this is Willie Tanner.
45
00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:01,313
I'd like to reserve a tux
for Saturday, please.
46
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,115
Oh, I think you've got my
measurements on file.
47
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,417
I was in there in 1967.
48
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,654
Oh, right.
49
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,523
Well, add two inches
to the waist
50
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,358
and lose the bell-bottoms.
51
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,894
Hey, good water, Kate.
52
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:19,298
Pick up some more of these
tomorrow, will you?
53
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:23,235
ALF, that water was supposed to
be for the wedding guests.
54
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,571
Well, I only drank
three of these.
55
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,307
I was trying to get
rid of my hiccups.
56
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,075
What hiccups?
57
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,577
[hiccup]
58
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,911
Those hiccups.
59
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:39,017
That is the strangest
hiccup I've ever heard.
60
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,186
Well, here's another one.
61
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,221
[hiccup]
62
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,356
Oh, no!
63
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,390
Oh..
64
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,425
[hiccup]
65
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,327
...yes.
66
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,995
You're the first humans
67
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:54,900
who've ever heard the
dreaded Melmacian hiccups.
68
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,837
Well, uh, what is it
that makes them so dreaded
69
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:02,174
besides that irritating
metallic echo?
70
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:05,043
That irritating metallic echo
71
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,747
gets louder and louder.
Day by day.
72
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,216
Week by week. Year by..
73
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,251
[hiccup]
74
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,052
...year.
75
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,021
How many years
are we talking about?
76
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,789
I'm not sure.
77
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,391
[hiccup]
78
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,894
My Uncle Tinkle
had them for 50 years.
79
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,062
Tinkle?
80
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,364
Good idea.
81
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,201
[instrumental music]
82
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,872
What's he doing?
83
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,240
He's still sitting in the closet
84
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,875
breathing into a paper bag.
85
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,645
Well, it must be working.
He hasn't hiccupped in..
86
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,948
[ALF hiccupping]
87
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,883
...fifty two seconds.
88
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:48,086
Okay, okay, we've tried sugar.
89
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,656
We've tried honey.
We've tried lemon juice.
90
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,658
We've tried half a turkey.
91
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,594
You gave him our turkey?
92
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:59,598
He said it was
a bold experiment.
93
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,334
Well, I hardly got
any sleep last night.
94
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,002
I slept like a baby.
95
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,572
A baby trapped
inside a percolator.
96
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,541
I guess you don't want
any coffee then.
97
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:13,512
I'll take mine black.
98
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,580
You're too young.
99
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,215
I feel old.
100
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,518
[ALF hiccupping]
101
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,920
Well, that sure didn't work.
102
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,162
[sighs]
ALF, I am sorry that you're
going through this
103
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,764
but I do hope that
your hiccups will be gone
104
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,666
before the wedding tomorrow.
105
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,135
[hiccup]
106
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,771
ALF, why don't you try
holding your breath again?
107
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,873
That should work.
108
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,442
Okay.
109
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,676
[inhales deeply]
110
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,083
[thwacking]
111
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,654
[gasping]
112
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:56,688
[hiccup]
113
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,990
[knock on door]
114
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,460
(Trevor)
'Hey Tanners, are you in there?'
115
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,463
ALF, it's Trevor.
Uh, take your hiccups
116
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,198
and get out of here.
117
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,901
Fine, if he complains about
the turkey bones in his yard
118
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,069
play dumb.
119
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,376
Is everyone decent?
120
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,378
If not, I won't stay too long.
121
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,414
Oh, I'm sorry.
122
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,416
I didn't know you
were saying grace.
123
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,652
We're finished.
124
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,653
Amen.
125
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,391
What's up, Trevor?
126
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,725
Ah, it's Raquel.
127
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,862
She said a weird noise
kept her up all night.
128
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,830
I couldn't hear anything
from my bedroom.
129
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,433
Weird noise?
130
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,602
Yeah. Kind of a metallic..
131
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,736
[imitating ALF's hiccup]
132
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,771
...sound.
133
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,172
At first I thought it was my pet
134
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,141
Bollock insisting
choking on a rat.
135
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:50,976
[ALF hiccupping]
136
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,012
It's coming from here.
137
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,747
Oh, that noise.
138
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,384
That's our garbage disposal
spinning the fritz.
139
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,119
Ah! That's why
140
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,622
you've been throwing
turkey bones on my lawn.
141
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,291
I'm sorry, Trevor.
142
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:09,361
Someone...I-I'll clean
that up right away.
143
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,862
Ah, that's okay.
144
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,297
Good fertilizer.
145
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,399
Well, hate to eat and run.
146
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,035
But Raquel has breakfast ready.
147
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,837
Religious kid you got there.
148
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,740
Brian.
149
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:22,774
Amen.
150
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,577
I better go check on ALF.
151
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,611
[ALF hiccups]
152
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,646
[shatters]
153
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,148
What is that?
154
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,785
Hey, Willie.
155
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,487
I discovered something.
156
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,655
What?
157
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,223
I'm Ella Fitzgerald.
158
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,257
[hiccup]
159
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,292
[shatters]
160
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,896
[instrumental music]
161
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,004
Oh, hi, ALF. How's it goin'?
162
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,639
[hiccup]
163
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,475
About the same, huh?
164
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,909
What are you looking for?
165
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,812
My Melmacian medical
encyclopedia.
166
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,647
I might have a cure
for the hiccups.
167
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,282
- 'Mmm.'
- 'Oh.'
168
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,684
- Here, hold this, Willie.
- What is it?
169
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,452
[pops]
170
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,188
Well, that's just nuclear
waste from my spaceship.
171
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,023
[gasps]
172
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,292
Well, hey, don't worry.
173
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,760
Life on this planet will exist
174
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,996
as long as that little
lid doesn't pop off.
175
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,403
[gasps]
Oh, wait. These are my crayons.
176
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,876
ALF, what-what does this
encyclopedia look like?
177
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,112
Well, I don't remember.
I only used it once.
178
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,281
When I was mauled by a gnarf.
179
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:38,650
A gnarf?
180
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,952
Don't laugh. It was a pit gnarf.
181
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:44,289
Uh, could this be it?
182
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,490
Oh, yeah, that's it.
183
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:48,527
"The Furry Home Companion."
184
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,463
Well, isn't that a little bit
thin for an encyclopedia?
185
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,398
Our bodies
aren't that complicated.
186
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,533
[hiccup]
187
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,568
We have ten major organs.
188
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,570
Eight of which are stomachs.
189
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,473
I would have guessed all ten.
190
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,574
Let's see here.
191
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,976
"Stomach aches, stomach flu
192
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,178
stomach transplants."
193
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,581
Here we are. "Hiccups."
194
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,383
[mumbling]
195
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:15,687
Hey, hey, all I have to do is
drink a glass of cat juice.
196
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,055
No problem.
197
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,057
Cat juice?
198
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,326
What is cat juice?
199
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,328
Well, it's just
like orange juice
200
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,363
but instead of squeezing
the juice out of an orange
201
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,565
just squeeze the
juice out of a--
202
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,033
Uh, I don't wanna hear it.
203
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,568
Then cover your ears.
204
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:30,869
Cat!
205
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,070
I heard it.
206
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,104
You were warned.
207
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,139
[hiccup]
208
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,243
Look, there's got
to be another cure.
209
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,246
There is, but you
don't wanna hear it.
210
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,081
It's disgusting.
211
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,919
[instrumental music]
212
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,790
Hi, Kate.
213
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,857
[Lucky purrs]
214
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:56,027
Hi, juicy. Uh, Lucky.
215
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,431
Anything you do to this cat,
I will do to you.
216
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,802
Oh, Lucky.
217
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,737
Mwah!
218
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:06,771
Kate?
219
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,441
Later.
220
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,475
[ALF hiccupping]
221
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,411
Hi, ALF. Hi, hon.
222
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,713
Hi, sweetheart.
223
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,217
Oh, sure, you'll kiss him,
but not me.
224
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,321
Don't ask. Did you find a
place to have the wedding?
225
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,591
Oh, no, all the
churches are booked.
226
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:32,097
All-all except the
Malibu Nudist Chapel.
227
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,899
My mother is not getting
married in a nudist colony.
228
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,670
Well, if she does,
I'm not going.
229
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,339
I have this tattoo
I'd rather not explain.
230
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,642
ALF, we told you.
231
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:47,178
Wherever they get married,
you're not going.
232
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,015
But who's gonna sing
"Sunrise Sunset?"
233
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,018
Whizzer.
234
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,087
Whizzer?
What kind of name is that?
235
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,056
Well, what kind of name
is Uncle Tinkle?
236
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,392
You win.
237
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,329
[hiccup]
238
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,165
If those hiccups get any louder,
there may not be a wedding.
239
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,266
[hiccup]
240
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,267
[shatters]
241
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,170
Or a house.
242
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,510
[ALF hiccupping]
243
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,713
Wow, you could even hear
him in the basement.
244
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,214
[ALF hiccupping]
245
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,016
With the door closed.
246
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,151
[ALF hiccupping]
247
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,687
And the mattress over his head.
248
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,189
And cotton in our ears.
249
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,624
[doorbell rings]
250
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:35,293
Oh, my gosh.
It's my mother and Whizzer.
251
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,861
Oh, he'll hear the hiccups.
252
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,229
He'll find out about ALF.
253
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,397
He will call the marriage off.
254
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,498
My mother will be mad at me
255
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,300
for the rest of my life.
256
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,171
Or maybe they won't care.
257
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,806
- Oh, hi.
- Hi, sweetheart.
258
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,207
Hi, mom. Hi, Whizzer.
Come on in.
259
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,475
Don't mind if we do.
260
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,576
That is, if you
don't mind if we do.
261
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,344
Oh, no.
262
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,147
Hey, Whizzer,
nervous about tomorrow?
263
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:59,317
How could I be nervous? I'm too
excited about my bachelor party.
264
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,187
Well, you know,
angel, I gotta run.
265
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,924
If you come in late for a stag
film, you can't follow the plot.
266
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,026
After the movie, I suppose
you're gonna have
267
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,828
a girl jump out of a cake.
268
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,763
No, we're not gonna
waste money on a cake.
269
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,165
We're just getting a stripper.
270
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,533
Very frugal.
271
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,335
I know, I think
it's Trixie something.
272
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,503
You wanna come, Willie?
273
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,838
Oh, uh..
274
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,773
Not if there's not
gonna be cake.
275
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,408
Smart move.
276
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,410
- Just show up tomorrow.
- You too.
277
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,444
Bye, everybody.
278
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,847
(Kate)
'Bye, bye. Oh!'
279
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:29,848
[ALF hiccupping]
280
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,918
What is that?
281
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,755
Mom, it-it's ALF.
He has the hiccups.
282
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,525
Aww, that's too bad.
283
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,361
We have tried every
hiccup cure known to man
284
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,896
and half a turkey.
285
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,297
Nothing has worked.
286
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,899
[ALF hiccupping]
287
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,135
Poor little guy.
288
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,771
He may do that tomorrow
at the ceremony, Dorothy.
289
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,272
Shoot him.
290
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,441
Mom!
291
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,577
Well, if he pulls that during
"Sunrise Sunset--"
292
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,646
Well, now just-just-just
take it easy, mom.
293
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,548
We're still, we're looking
for a cure.
294
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,117
Other than cat juice.
295
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,952
Cat juice?
296
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,988
That's the cure
for hiccups on Melmac.
297
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:13,458
No, we're not mashing a cat
just to cure ALF's hiccups.
298
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,660
How about just
for a cheap thrill?
299
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,563
[hiccup]
300
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,733
Thanks a lot, you hiccupping
hair ball from hell.
301
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,638
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, well, you're a wiener.
302
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,507
[hiccup]
303
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,243
What...mom that
was a little rough.
304
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,346
I mean, it's not ALF's fault
that he has the hiccups.
305
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,949
Yeah, don't forget who
brought you and Whizzer
306
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,818
together in the first place.
307
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,287
You did, you did ALF
and I'm sorry.
308
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:46,124
If it weren't for me, you'd
be spending tomorrow alone.
309
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,827
Watching reruns of "Bonanza".
310
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:51,830
You're probably right.
Again, I apologize.
311
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:54,499
The high point of
your entire evening
312
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:59,204
would be catching a glimpse of
Michael Landon's chest hair.
313
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,439
I said I was sorry!
314
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,241
There's no talking to her.
315
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,312
ALF, would you
excuse us, please?
316
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,314
We wanna talk about
you for a moment.
317
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,982
Well, I'm flattered.
318
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,117
But don't let the wiener
bad-mouth me.
319
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:14,919
Wiener!
320
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,290
Well..
321
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:23,027
...desperate times call
for desperate measures.
322
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,396
We make some cat juice.
323
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,199
We are not juicing a cat.
324
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,168
Not in my blender, anyway.
325
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,037
Well, what if we use that
blender your sister sent us?
326
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,006
- Willie!
- I-I'm sorry!
327
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,742
Kate, I was just trying to help.
328
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:41,346
Well, I don't mean a real cat.
329
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:45,416
We just mix up a batch of goop
and we tell ALF it's cat juice.
330
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,186
That's a great idea.
331
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:51,422
- Kate, what do you say?
- Well, alright.
332
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,092
But we are using the blender
my sister sent us!
333
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,196
[hiccup]
334
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,331
Wow, listen to that reverb.
335
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,067
ALF.
336
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:06,871
We...have a surprise for you.
337
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:09,173
Dorothy exploded?
338
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,275
No.
339
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,277
ALF.
340
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:16,414
We decided that your health is
more important than a, a cat.
341
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:22,053
So this...is, uh,
freshly squeezed..
342
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,688
Cat juice.
343
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,556
- Really?
- Yeah.
344
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,591
Enjoy.
345
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,928
Well, where's the
little umbrella?
346
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,397
Just drink it.
347
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,132
Okay.
348
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:37,602
Alas, poor Lucky,
I liked him as a cat.
349
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,704
I love him as a cocktail.
350
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,472
[hiccup]
351
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,208
Uh, it's not Lucky. It's a..
352
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,044
...it's a stray.
353
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,012
Well, it's not
a road kill, is it?
354
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,149
No!
355
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,484
Good, 'cause
I have my standards.
356
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,787
Is it kosher?
357
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,289
Just drink it.
358
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,324
Alright.
359
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,828
[slurping]
360
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,233
[shrieks]
361
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,203
[gasping]
362
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,507
[burps]
363
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,947
Well, at least
it wasn't a hiccup.
364
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:26,017
But...are you, are you cured?
365
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,423
I don't know.
366
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,524
But I'll tell you one thing.
367
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,126
I've got to get to the bathroom.
368
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:38,696
As they say, you don't buy
cat juice you rent it.
369
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,401
[instrumental music]
370
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,378
Say something, Brian.
371
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,445
Like what?
372
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,547
I don't know. Anything.
373
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,783
Hi, I'm Ted Koppel.
374
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,252
And this...is "Nightline".
375
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,024
Oh, I forgot to ask.
How-how was your bachelor party?
376
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,291
Oh, the usual.
377
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,527
By the way,
could you do me a favor?
378
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,728
Would you be my best man?
379
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,163
Oh, what happened to Garland?
380
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,631
Oh, he's gone to a better place.
381
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:14,665
- What?
- Yeah.
382
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,000
He went home with the stripper.
383
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,301
[gasps]
Oh!
384
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,443
[instrumental "Wedding March"]
385
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,595
Hiya, gorgeous.
386
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:49,067
I thought Garland was
gonna be your best man.
387
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,169
Oh, he's in a better place now.
388
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,504
- Another stripper, huh?
- Yeah.
389
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,541
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
390
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,376
in the presence of God
391
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:01,079
to unite these two
in holy matrimony.
392
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,581
[ALF sobbing]
393
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,183
[clears throat]
394
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,955
Who gives this woman
to this man?
395
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,457
I do.
396
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:13,491
[sobs]
397
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,561
Dorothy Halligan..
398
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,595
[ALF sobbing]
399
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,937
...d-do you take this man
400
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,873
Whizzer Deaver to be your..
401
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,843
[ALF blows nose]
402
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,647
Your first husband
did pass away, right?
403
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:43,221
I'll just see what
that is and eliminate it.
404
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,889
Sorry.
405
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:45,890
Oh-oh.
406
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,727
Oh, I'll be right back.
407
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,366
[panting]
408
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,338
Hi, Willie. Que pasa?
409
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,110
What do you think you're doing?
410
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,245
Speaking Spanish.
411
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,248
You know what I mean.
412
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,049
What were you doing in there?
413
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,586
I'm sorry.
414
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,555
I really wanted to go
to the wedding.
415
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,426
The minister said that
he'd wait until we get back.
416
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,462
Well, then let's go.
417
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,431
ALF, we've told you
hundreds of times.
418
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,301
If somebody sees you,
they could turn you in.
419
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,170
Is that what you want?
420
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,238
No, I want cake.
421
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:38,943
And I wanna be a
part of the family.
422
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,546
You are a part
of the family, ALF.
423
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,682
Look, the only reason mom
and dad put you in the garage
424
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,653
is because they don't want
anyone to find out about you.
425
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,821
They care about you.
426
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,291
I mean, why else would they
have made that fake cat juice?
427
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,594
Fake cat juice?
428
00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,730
I'm sorry.
429
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,066
Fake cat juice?
430
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,068
You thought you could
fool me, huh?
431
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,406
We did fool you.
432
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,440
[hiccup]
433
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,310
[ALF hiccupping]
434
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,412
What was that?
435
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,615
That's your cue, Whizzer.
Start singing.
436
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,122
We'll be right back.
437
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,728
[indistinct chatter]
438
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,432
Hit it.
439
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,701
[piano playing]
440
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:41,439
¶ Is this the little
girl I carried ¶
441
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,575
¶ Is this the little
boy at play ¶
442
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,379
Where is he?
443
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,847
[hiccup]
444
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,816
Right here at the epicenter.
445
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,285
A white dress?
446
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,120
Who do you think you're kidding?
447
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,192
Willie, Willie,
we've gotta do something.
448
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:03,261
They can hear ALF in the house
449
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,763
and they don't like it.
450
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,065
[hiccup]
451
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,935
Listen, ALF, yesterday you said
there was a second cure
452
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,871
for Melmacian hiccups.
Now what is it?
453
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,041
I'm telling you
it's really disgusting.
454
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,610
- Tell us what it is!
- Fine.
455
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:24,215
The other cure is...eating
raw spinach.
456
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,118
Raw spinach?
457
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,153
Don't even say it.
I'm going to..
458
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,255
- Mmm.
- Lynnie, quick!
459
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:33,491
Get some spinach.
Make sure it's good and raw.
460
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:34,892
Right.
461
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,094
But spinach is so gross!
462
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,562
[hiccup]
463
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:41,399
On-on Melmac, Popeye
is considered a geek.
464
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,970
[sighs]
Okay, ALF, forget the spinach.
465
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,272
We'll go to plan B.
466
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:49,907
What's plan B?
467
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:52,677
It involves gunfire.
468
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:56,314
Yeah. Uh, alright, alright!
469
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,482
I'll eat the darn spinach.
470
00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,650
[hiccup]
471
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,519
I-I mean,
it's good for you, right?
472
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:04,655
Uh, it's got iron and calcium
473
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,957
and grains of sand.
474
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:09,994
Why are you inching
towards the door?
475
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,797
I'm not inching
towards the door.
476
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,598
(Willie)
I beg to differ with you.
477
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,668
You are inching
towards the door.
478
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,204
Nay, sir, you are in error.
479
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,006
[hiccup]
480
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:23,708
Here's the spinach.
481
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,510
Eeeeh!
482
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:30,314
See, uh, now I'm inching
away from the door.
483
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:33,084
I'm sort of shuffling,
just gliding.
484
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:37,288
- What's going on in there?
- It's chaos.
485
00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:40,758
The best man just showed up with
a woman wearing leopard pants.
486
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:48,399
Eat your spinach!
487
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:52,536
[gulps]
488
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,743
Well, at least
there's a bug on it.
489
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,584
Bye, uh, Trixie, was it? Yes.
490
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,919
Garland, have a nice
time in Tijuana.
491
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:15,526
Oh, guys! Have a good time
on your honeymoon.
492
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,660
I always do.
493
00:23:16,662 --> 00:23:17,928
[laughing]
494
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,364
Isn't he terrible?
495
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:22,366
Listen, if you ever find
the wedding cake
496
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,034
save us a piece.
497
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:26,203
Wasn't that the-the
strangest thing?
498
00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:29,340
The whole cake just
disappearing like that?
499
00:23:29,342 --> 00:23:31,041
[ALF burps]
500
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:33,844
(ALF)
'Pardon me.'
501
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,447
Now, mommy, if you have any
questions on your honeymoon
502
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,016
or if you just wanna talk,
you be sure to call me, okay?
503
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:41,252
[laughing]
504
00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:43,687
So long, Dottiekins.
505
00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:44,855
- Oh.
- Oh, hey, don't!
506
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,857
ALF, you're supposed
to take the rice
507
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,727
out of the box
before you throw it.
508
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:52,430
Well, next you're gonna tell me
I'm not supposed to tie a cat
509
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,465
to the back of the car.
510
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,467
- Lynn, go cut Lucky loose.
- Right away.
511
00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:06,510
[theme music]
512
00:24:33,439 --> 00:24:35,105
[hiccup]
513
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:38,075
[instrumental music]